Tested and True
by RockxPaperxScissors
Summary: What if Bella made the decisions? What if she made a different choice?-"But before I could answer him, to tell him that I was sorry, to beg him for forgiveness, he noticed the cut on my arm, his eyes clouded with black fury.“I hurt you…I hurt you…” ExB
1. Both

**My first fanfic :DD Please review/comment, just so I know if im screwing up xDD Thankyou (:**

**Disclaimer: I dont own twilight.. I wish though D:**

**Okay. First Chapter; Both Bella & Edward's POV.**

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**"I hesitated at the door to Jacob's room, not sure whether to knock. I decided to peek first, hoping—coward that I was—that maybe he'd gone back to sleep. I felt like I could use just a few more minutes."**

I didn't know what I was doing, my knees grew weaker by the second, yet I knew I had to face it; I had to make a choice, to choose between the two I had so dearly loved with my heart and soul. It didn't, shouldn't have made sense to me, not at all—what was there to hesitate about? What had happened to the irrevocable, undying love I had for my angel, my Edward? It was still there, no doubt, but there was this whole other part of me that yearned for Jacob's love too. It was my utmost stupidity and selfishness that have caused all this, the pain I've brought to Edward, to Jacob, and least importantly, to myself.

**Chapter 1 **

**(BPOV)**

Edward had promised not to step in tonight, to let me handle this my way. Although I was certain my final choice was Edward, I knew there was a whole lot to handle ahead of me. I took a deep breath as I felt the door knob turn under my fingers, opening the door to Jacob, to my _other_ love, the one I should not have loved more than a friend in the first place. I knew I was going to back out if I let my cowardly nature taunt me for another second, so I let go of the breath I've been holding in and stepped into the room, closing the door behind me.

"Hey Jake, how are you feeling?" My voice broke. Twice. I knew it was irrational, but seeing Jacob hurt was hurting me too, not to mention the pain was inflicted on an attempt to protect _me_. Selfish, cruel, worthless me.

"Bella, I'm fine, and before you even start, it wasn't your fault. I was careless, and Clearwater was being, well, stupid." He glanced up at me with assuring eyes, an annoyed edginess to his voice as he mentioned Leah.

"Jake.." I winced. Leah Clearwater, I knew her, and she was one of the many who endangered her life to protect me. Yet here I was listening to my best friend put the blame on her while I stood rooted to the ground in my own little trance.

"I'm serious Bella, what did she think she was doing? Could she BE anymore stupid? You're in the middle of a fight, you work together with the pack, you think! But for Clearwater? Noooo, she approaches a hiding newborn alone, to-" His endless rant ended abruptly, snapping me out of my guilt ridden train of thoughts at once.

"Bella, are you okay? You've been so distracted since you stepped into the room, what, missing your bloodsu-Edward?" I smiled as he fought back his hatred for Edward to please me, but then let my lips fall back into the same cold line. I saw his teasing mask fade as he remembered our kiss before the fight, his eyes fixed on the ceiling board as he struggled to keep his pretence.

"Jacob, you know it's not like that. I..I love you too. It's just hard, for me.. to love..both.." My voice broke on the last two words, leaving me speechless as tears welled up in my eyes.

He reached out to grab my hand, pulling me to sit down next to him. Wordlessly, his fingers let go of my hand, only to wipe away the tears that were streaming down my cheeks. As I felt his warm fingers against my skin, I saw the sides of his lips twitch, pulling them up into the smile I always had loved. Then I realized that it was the erratic thumping of my heart that caused my Jacob to smile again. For once, I didn't feel the guilt towards Edward I was expecting. I felt joy, happy that my Jacob was happy again. What I did not expect, though, was his reaction...

Instead of letting the awkward silence fall into place, Jacob pulled himself up with the support of his good arm all of a sudden, pressing his lips against mine with as much force as he could. I froze under his warm touch, and then unknowingly started to kiss him back. Jacob had always been right; I loved him, and if only I were to give him a chance, to prove he could be as right for me as I thought Edward was…

This time, my train of thoughts wasn't stopped; it was wrecked, hurled right off the track. His fingers tugged at my hair, pulling me closer as my breathing grew uneven, my hands wounded around his waist, my fingers clawing into his back. Then it hit me;

What on Earth was I doing? What about my promises to love Edward forever? My angel had trusted me to handle things well, to put things with Jacob to an end my way, and _this _was how I_ handled things_? I turned into stone against Jacob, pulling away quickly as I gasped for air, assembling my thoughts along the way.

No, no, no. This was wrong.

I took a quick apologetic glance at Jacob and barged out the door, stumbling towards my truck as the tears he's wiped away spilled over again. Not knowing how I did it, I was out of La Push in merely minutes, speeding as much as the truck could go,down the road towards nowhere. That's when I saw the Volvo tailing closely behind me, my angel's face emotionless. Edward, I wanted to see him, so much, and yet the other side of me begged to escape him, to escape the hurt I've once again caused him. I pulled over; knowing that Edward's maddening driving would have outdrove me anyway.

Then the door was open, and my angel stood in front of me, unbuckling the seat belt that held me down before he swiftly pulled me into his chest. I sobbed, soaking his shirt as I breathed unsteady breathes, while he silently stroked my hair and held me closer.

"Edward..how did you.." I looked up at him. How did he find me here? How did he know?

"Alice called…she told me, it's okay Bella..." his words trailed off as he wrestled for words, trying to keep up his conserved, casual charade.

I..I never..meant..to.." I couldn't think of anything. I wanted so much to console him, to tell him that the kiss with Jacob didn't mean anything, but I couldn't. I didn't want to lie to my angel anymore, I loved him, but I loved Jacob too.

I didn't know what to do, what I _could_ do, to take away the agony that once again flickered onto Edward's godlike features. He tried— I could tell— to hide it, to keep me from another one of my dramatic wailing moments, he failed. I could see it in his eyes, hidden beneath the smoldering gold, the anguish and disappointment he buried so deeply. Disappointment…in me? Before I could decipher his expressions any further, he pulled away from me; his eyes gazed into the depths of the surrounding forests that stretched out on either side of the road.

I stepped forward, placing my hands on his cold cheeks, pulling his face towards me as I ached to comfort him, to free him from the sadness that was so overwhelming, but his iron grasp got hold of mine instead, forcing them back down to my sides. I choked against the wails in my chest I fought back, trembling as I stared at the ground, letting the fresh streaks of tears pour down. I deserved this—he didn't want me anymore.

He then turned to look at me, anxious, his eyes boring into mine, searching for some hidden answer he was seeking. "Bel..Bella, love..shh" My angel cradled me tightly against his chest once more, my body molded against his, closing the excruciating space between us. "It's okay.. Don't cry." I felt his cold fingers brush against my damp cheeks, soothing against my skin.

"I said I could be noble, Bella, and.." He let out a deep sigh as he started.

"..And if Jacob is what you want, if he's what's best for you.." He paused, and I already knew why. Edward was battling against his feelings, trying to give me up for what I wanted, or what I chose to want.

"Edward don't. I..I love you, so much, it's just.." I tried, before he left me again, before he left_ for _me.

"You love Jacob too." He finished for me; the words pierced through my heart like daggers. Not only was that true, I had forced Edward to say it, to tell me, to convince me that my love for Jacob _was_ strong enough to drive a wedge between us.

"Bella, he is, after all, more human than I. And… and I think.." He was shaking, shivering as his velvet voice turned into a cold, flat, monotone. "I think you should be happy, just pretend I never happened, love. That was how your life was supposed to be, before I selfishly took you anyway. I love you Bella, and I know what's best for you, this isn't. Now you have another choice, one that is safer, one that doesn't involve you giving up your soul, you-" I interrupted him before he could continue.

"But…what about you?"

**(EPOV)**

Her words struck me like lightning. "What about you", I knew at once I had lost my Bella, that our love wasn't as inevitable as I thought it once was. Her response wasn't one I had seen before—she wasn't telling me that she loved me more, or that she could never leave me no matter how much she loved that _dog_—she was asking me how I would be. I hadn't noticed how much her love for Jacob Black had grown, but as Bella looked up at me with pained eyes, I knew that I had to be noble— for her.

"I'll be fine Bella, all I need to know is that you will be happy. I will, of course, never forget you, but I promise I'd keep a distance between us, as long as it's what you want." I erased all signs of pain that shot through my body, hoping she would fall for the smile that I slapped across my face.

"I'm… I'm really sorry Edward. I just, I just never gave Jacob a chance and…it is unfair to him…" She murmured, catching a deep breath after every few words she choked out. I knew right then I had to help her with this, to let her have what she wanted as easy as it could be.

"Bella, it's okay. I think it is what's best for you, and you should be happy too. I don't want to be keeping you from this happiness Bella, as long as you're content, then so am I." I hopelessly struggled against my will to pull her into the urgent kiss I've longed to give her, to crush her against my chest and let her know I would never want her to go, not for eternity. I didn't want to give myself away, so I merely brushed my lips against her warm, soft cheek, then stepped back, ready to return to my moonless life. "I love you, Bella. Never forget that." I whispered, and then returned to my Volvo, letting it roar to life as I sped away.

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	2. Alone

**Chapter 2 (: **

**Disclaimer: Books and characters belong to the one and only Stephenie Meyer whose books I worship.**

"_Bella, it's okay. I think it is what's best for you, and you should be happy too. I don't want to be keeping you from this happiness Bella, as long as you're content, then so am I." I hopelessly struggled against my will to pull her into the urgent kiss I've longed to give her, to crush her against my chest and let her know I would never want her to go, not for eternity. I didn't want to give myself away, so I merely brushed my lips against her warm, soft cheek, then stepped back, ready to return to my moonless life. "I love you, Bella. Never forget that." I whispered, and then returned to my Volvo, letting it roar to life as I sped away."_

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**Chapter 2**

**(EPOV)**

After Bella was nowhere in sight, I let my car swerve to the side of the road, then screech to a halt. As the Volvo jerked forward, I let my head crash against the steering wheel, closing my eyes. I knew I had to leave, and now things were made easier for my Bella, she no longer had to be torn between to two of us.

The thought of Bella frolicking on the beach with that dog, the fact that he could hurt her as easily as I could have, it drove me nuts; to know I wouldn't be there to protect her, to shield her in my arms. An unconscious growl erupted from my chest as I kicked the door open, leaving my car behind me as I darted into the dark forest. It was now twilight, the safest time of the day, the easiest time for us; yet I felt so insecure, my Bella had left me, and my life was completely meaningless.

I ran past the towering, dark trees, distracted. Yet I didn't want to stop, not ever—what was the point? Bella was never coming back; I was never again going to catch her as she stumbled, to hold her as she fell asleep to her lullaby, to see her blush scarlet again. It pained me to have had let her go like that, and my stone heart seemed to have shattered to a million pieces inside of me.

Was this how she felt when I left for Italy? Or did she suffer more? Impossible. I missed her already, every single part of her; her warm touch, her sweet scent, her beautiful brown eyes as she stared at me with curiosity. How was I going to survive without her? She was my life, my soul, if I had one.

I was going crazy just thinking of her, and before my thoughts could shred me up more than it already had, I fell to the ground. This had never happened before, not in the hundred years I'd existed. I collapsed, my knees felt weak. My eyes couldn't adjust after all—it was black, the meteor had fallen over the horizon, my meteor, and there was no way it was coming back to me. Suddenly, forever seemed like such a long time. Unbearably long.

**(APOV)**

Alice. Alice. Alice. How could you've be so stupid?

Now not only was I psychic, I was talking to myself. Great. But Edward! He was my favorite brother, and I wasn't going to lose him again. The guy was a drama queen, an idiot; he already risked his life once with the Vultori, and now he was missing! What would this do to Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper, and worse, Esme? Rosalie might find this exciting, but the girl's just a little too arrogant. Deep inside, I knew she cared about Edward too. And Bella…

Then my mind was blank, completely blank. Why did Bella have to choose that stinking werewolf? Now I couldn't see a thing about her future. Did she know how annoying it was to be mentally blinded this way? And what was she thinking anyway? Edward was and had always been the love of her life; I just saw them get married in a few months last week. Couldn't she have just left things the way they were? I would have loved to do her wedding reception, the party, lights, flowers, and wedding gowns! What was she doing to me? She was taking away my dream— it would have been paradise for me to do my brother's wedding! I fumed, hissing as the vivid images of the wedding appeared once again in my head.

I felt strong arms wrap around my waist from behind me as a silent chuckle echoed in the corridors. Jasper. I felt at ease at once, the madness and anger was gone, disappearing into thin air around me.

"Alice, calm down. He'll be fine. Edward's not _that_ big of an idiot. Besides, he's not Emmett. He can take care of himself." Jasper held me tighter as he whispered in my ear.

I smiled and rested my head against his chest. I was helpless. I couldn't fight his powers, especially with his arms wrapped around me like that. I thought about what he'd said, and it was true. Edward had promised Esme not to hurt himself no matter what happened, and after the Italy crisis, he should know better as to what's sane and what's not. There was absolutely nothing to worry about, at least for now. For now.

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	3. Invisible

**Third Chapter; Bella and Edward's POV again.**

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**Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I'm just one of the many obsessed fans (:**

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**Chapter 3 **

**(BPOV)**

My angel. He pressed his lips against my cheek as I lay in his arms. We were in our meadow, the one place that was ours, the one place that I could feel peaceful, lying beside my Edward. I glanced up at him as he stroked my hair soothingly, tracing his model-like features with my fingers as I stared into his golden eyes, dazzled.

All of a sudden, he was gone; a black shadow darting towards the deep forests. I called out to him, I wanted him to stay, but I couldn't speak. He was gone. He was gone.

My eyelids fluttered open as I awoke from the dream, or was it a nightmare? I groaned as the blinding rays of sunlight pierced through the window, the light was torturously glaring. Why, of all days, did this have to be the day Forks decided to be generous with the sun?

I sighed groggily, then turned over to the side expecting the cold muscular arms to catch me, only to find myself with nothing but the cruel emptiness on my bed. I unknowingly left a space beside me every night before I went to sleep, I couldn't get used to the fact that no one was there in the darkness with me, to wash away the bad dreams with my lullaby, that my Edward wasn't climbing through my open window anytime soon.

Tears poured down my cheeks as I gazed out the window into the thick, emerald forest—but I had made a choice, and this was what I chose. My silly werewolf best friend who was now my…love? I was supposed to be content, but I felt as if a whole other part of me was missing, lifeless. Whenever Jacob pulled me close, or merely touched me, I felt confused, happy, but not complete.

It had been days since I'd heard from any of the Cullens, I missed them, especially Alice, but I didn't exactly have the courage to check in on them either. Did they despise me now that I chose Jacob? Or was it simply the whole werewolf-vampire treaty? I couldn't know for sure, but another part of me suggested I didn't want to know.

I dragged myself out of bed before I plummeted further into depression, heading towards the bathroom, cheeks damp with tears. Was this how my mornings were going to start from now on?

I hurriedly brushed my teeth, cleaned up and skipped breakfast, rushing out the door after throwing on my white blouse and jeans. I wasn't in the mood to be any more fashionable than I was, and being alone for too long only brought back more memories of Edward.

**(EPOV)**

As I saw her walk out the front door, I swiftly bolted towards the trees, hiding behind the shaded leaves. I had promised Bella to keep a distance, but not seeing her face was impossible for me, painfully impossible.

She, on the other hand, seemed to have handled things well. She was up and out earlier than usual, on the way to La Push, of course. Was she really completely happy? Did she miss me at all, or was I already forgotten; put aside with her other unhappy memories? It hurt just thinking of the possibilities, to know that my Bella didn't need me anymore.

I forced myself to look away as I fought back the urge to get closer, to look for any sign of sadness in her. I felt sick, sick to the core. Was I hoping for my Bella to be upset? Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. What have you become? I was such a monster, not only literally, now mentally too. I wanted the reason of my existence to be unhappy! But it was inevitable. I wanted to know, if she had loved me the way she said she did, or if her love for me was really not what I thought it was, what I wanted it to be.

I haven't returned home for the past week, and my Volvo was probably towed away by now. I didn't care, not anymore. Not about hunting, tracking, and obviously not about my car. My family was worried, I could tell from the thousands of times my phone rang in a day, but I wasn't in the mood to talk to them, not now.

I spent my time following Bella instead, but never letting her see me. I couldn't help it, even after her love for me had vanished into thin air, I still had the same need to protect her, to shield her from any source of danger she faced.

She had been making daily visits to La Push recently, and it bothered me, a lot. Not only could I not be anywhere near the werewolves' territory, I had no idea what Jacob Black was doing to her as she spent hours over at his doghouse.

I waited in the forests instead, until I heard her truck's loud roar, then followed her home and watched her every move up till she tucked herself into bed. Bella was utterly oblivious to my presence, but after she dosed off everyday, I'd still climb into her room and watch her restless talk show as she slumbered off. I didn't want her to find me there, so I stood at the foot of her bed and went no closer. She was adorable, like she'd always been, but she was no longer mine to hold.

So it surprised me when Bella took a different route today, heading towards a different place. I silently ran alongside her truck behind the trees, watching her exhausted face while she drove at her slow, tiring speed. I used to find her slow driving tiresome, but now I was grateful for the time I got to spend with her; even though Bella wasn't aware of my presence, I was at ease.

Then I realized where she was heading…to the Cullens, to my home—but for what?

**(BPOV)**

I couldn't take it any longer. I had to see Alice, or better still, Edward. I wasn't handling things any better than I did when Edward left me the first time, and I knew things were going to get much worse. It had only been days, and I was already going berserk. I needed to talk to Edward, to hear his velvet voice, to see his crooked smile, to feel his body hugging mine again.

As I pulled into the driveway, I saw Alice skip out of the front door, hopping down the stairs to meet me. I heaved a sigh of relief; she was glad to see me.

"Bella! I missed you so much!" She pulled me into her steel grasp, knocking the air out of me. But I couldn't care less, my best friend was here, and she was happy I was too.

"Alice…I, I'm so sorry I didn't visit earlier. I had a lot to deal with, and…"

"Bella he hasn't...come home. Not since that day..." Alice stopped, she looked down towards her feet, her voice thick with dismay.

"I...I didn't mean for it t-"

"Hold that thought." She interrupted me before I could finish. Half heartedly, I paused. I didn't actually know what to say, I wanted to apologize, to console her, but I had no idea how.

Her expression abruptly became anxious, alert of something in the surroundings.

"Alice, what is it?" She was concentrating on something in the quiet distance, deep inside the forests.

I turned towards the same direction, seeking for whatever got Alice so occupied. I squinted, staring for an immeasurable amount of time. I saw a tree shake violently for a brief second, then a white figure brush past, disappearing into no where. Alice turned back to face me, her eyes filled with inconsolable melancholy.

"That was Edward."

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	4. Lion

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**Chapter 4**

**(BPOV)**

As his name rang in my ears, I felt a rush of anxiety bolt through me. Had my angel always been there, watching me? _Was_ he still there? My heart thumped unsteadily while I questioned myself; seeking for the answer I wanted so desperately.

I had been so foolish to think that things could work with Jacob if I had given him a chance; it clearly wasn't working, I couldn't live without Edward. He was my life, my soul. I knew I loved Jacob, but the emptiness Edward had left behind was now in my heart too. The hole was back, the one he had created when he left me the first time, the one he had stitched up so carefully with the thousands of times he confessed his irrevocable love for me.

Not only had I caused enough pain for the two of them, now I had given Jacob hope, barren, false hope. I wasn't worth it, the time, the effort, the pain.

"Alice, is he…still here?" I murmured, holding back the tears that were soon to be brimming over.

She slowly raised her head, letting me look into her eyes for the first time, unfolding the sorrow underneath the deep gold. She didn't need to say more, I'd gotten my answer.

"Bella, Edward just needs time…he doesn't blame you…for anything." She chimed softly, wiping away the drops of saltwater that had coursed down my cheeks with her lean fingers.

I wasn't having any of that. I knew she was just trying to make me feel better, and that Edward was in more pain than ever right now. He was my angel, the crooked smile belonged on his face, he was supposed to be happy—he was meant to be. I had to deal with this, and I was not going to do it obtusely anymore.

Alice stood motionlessly in front of me; she seemed to be in her own world. I took the chance before she could stop me, running as fast as I could towards Edward—or where he once stood.

A cold arm grabbed my wrist, yanking me to a halt. Of course Alice could catch up, what was I thinking?

"Alice…I need to go. I won't be in any danger; I just need to see him." I pleaded with her, feeling her grip loosened when the tears in my eyes overflowed.

I stumbled incoherently towards the trees for a long moment, knowing that Alice would leave me alone this time. I wiped away the tears in my eyes to clear up my vision, then realized that Alice was already out of sight. I was surprised I had made it this far without falling over, but I still couldn't find what I was looking for.

"Edward? Edward…" I called out to the bare nothingness in front of me, feeling like an absolute idiot. I could feel his being, that he was standing there watching me in the close surroundings, yet I couldn't be too sure. But if he was there, why wasn't he responding? Did he not want to see me anymore?

I hushed my reckless thoughts, then clumsily staggered deeper into the inviting, dark forest.

**(EPOV)**

What did Bella think she was doing, wandering around in the woods alone? I had after all, warned her about the dangers that lurked inside this place, told her that I wasn't the only thing dangerous to her out here.

"Edward? Edward…" I heard my Bella's voice shake as she called out to me, but hid further behind the trunk of the tall Redwood tree.

How much I wanted to go to her, to see her face inches away from mine, to plant never ending kisses against her soft skin ; but what would that do to her? Her efforts would have had gone to waste, and she wouldn't be happy without Jacob's love—she was happier with him, and I had to accept that.

"Edward…I'm sorry. Please Edward?" My Bella was crying, her angel's voice strained.

Then I heard footsteps from behind me; a vampire, a werewolf, what was it? I turned towards the crunching of leaves, growling as I noticed its golden brown fur; a mountain lion inching its way towards her—towards my Bella.

_Run_ _Bella._ I screamed at her in my head, her human senses were too dull to notice the lion prying behind her. It was only a few feet away now, and the growls from my chest erupted uncontrollably as I tried to tame them. I had to do something; I didn't care if I wasn't supposed to be anywhere near her, I didn't care if Bella didn't love me anymore; I loved her, and I was not going to see her get hurt like that.

I pounced, letting my senses take over.


	5. Lips of an angel

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**okay on with the lion...**

_"__Run__ Bella. I screamed at her in my head, her human senses were too dull to notice the lion prying behind her. It was only a few feet away now, and the growls from my chest erupted uncontrollably as I tried to tame them. I had to do something; I didn't care if I wasn't supposed to be anywhere near her, I didn't care if Bella didn't love me anymore; I loved her, and I was not going to see her get hurt like that. _

_ I pounced, letting my senses take over.__"_

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**Chapter 5**

**(BPOV)**

I screamed—Shrieked, the moment I heard a gnarl come from behind me. I helplessly scrambled backwards, startled; a mountain lion? My luck _was_ getting better by the minute, a mountain lionin Forks? What were the odds? But being the danger magnet I was, it wasn't that impossible after all.

My predator snarled as it moved towards me, warning me that my life was going to be over any minute now. I trembled, but moved no further. What could I do? If I ran, I would probably have given it an easier job; and scream? I already did, I was too far away from anyone to hear by now anyway.

A deafening growl exploded as the trees shook, a different growl, one I knew. My heart sank as I saw his angel's face— I'd missed him so much. Edward plunged at the lion from beside me, throwing it to the ground as it struggled against his iron hold. The lion clawed powerlessly at Edward, my savior all but hissed, restraining it tighter against the ground.

Edward's figure blurred while he leaned towards the lion, his face emotionless as his teeth appeared, ending my predator's life then and there. He looked up at me.

My angel's face was different; it was as though he was a whole other person. His eyes were bloodshot; his teeth glistened as he glowered at my arm. I looked down, puzzled, and then realized the deep gash that spread temptingly across my arm. When did I cut myself? The blood formed around my wound, trickling all the way down to my fingers, taunting him. Then I recalled my conversation with him;

"When we hunt, we give ourselves over to our senses."

I took a step back— I had never felt so afraid of Edward. Before I could catch another breath, Edward pounced at me. I fell back, propping myself up with my elbow, stunned. He snarled at me, letting his teeth show again as I cringed.

I didn't mind having myself killed by Edward, his face would be the last thing I saw, and that was all that mattered. But what would it do to him, when he realized he had killed me? I knew him too well—Edward would never forgive himself, he'd end his life whatever it took, and I wouldn't be there to stop him this time around.

"Edward, Edward it's me, Bella. Edward stop." He hissed, inching forward at my wound. I felt his nose draw a line down my arm, along my wrists—I had to do something, but what?

As his nose skimmed at my fingers, I grabbed his face, dragging his glare towards me. I took a deep breath, then pushed myself off the ground as I sat up, pressing my lips against his. I knew this was supposed to be an attempt to save him from his vampire instincts, but I couldn't help myself. The instant our lips met, my fingers knotted in his hair, pulling his cold body closer to mine. He froze in reluctance, mounded into stone, but I didn't care, I haven't seen him for a week now.

Suddenly I felt him reach for my face; he was back, _my_ Edward.

He gently pulled away, opening his eyes as I saw his irises turn back into the same, smoldering gold I'd missed. "Bella?" He looked puzzled, as if he was awakening from a dream.

But before I could answer him, to tell him that I was sorry, to beg him for forgiveness, he noticed the cut on my arm, his eyes clouded with black fury.

"I hurt you…I hurt you…" he chanted to himself—and he was gone, again.

"Bella, Bella?" I heard another voice come from behind me. He panted as he pushed away the branches in the way, pulling me into a bone crushing hug. Jacob.

He sat down, pulling me into his arms as my vision blurred with tears. "Jacob…H-How did you find me?" I gasped. Did he already know? Had he seen my kiss with Edward? How was I going to tell him?

"I noticed you didn't come down to La Push, I was so worried Bells. You could have called! So I called the Cullens, and the small one picked up, I think. She told me you were somewhere in here, what _are_ you doing here?"

Alice. Right. "Jacob," I sighed, he had to know sometime. "…I came to look for Edward." I mumbled as my eyes trailed off, focusing on the rocks in the ground instead.

"I guess I knew this would happen..." He looked as though he honestly wasn't surprised.

"Jake I'm sorry…Please." My voice cracked as I saw his face fall.

"Bella, it's okay. As much as I hate to say this, you can't live without your bloodsucker. I knew I had to give you up sometime, you had been so distant the past week, I haven't seen you smile in days Bells." But how _could_ I? My Edward was hurting somewhere out here, how could I be happy?

"I'm sorry, this isn't…fair to you." I didn't know what else to say.

"Remember what I told you about imprinting?" His question caught me off guard, but I nodded anyway. "I said that when we imprint on someone, it's not the earth holding us up, but her instead, and we would do anything for her?"

I nodded again, but shut my mouth otherwise, letting him go on.

"And like I said Bella, you become what she needs you to be. I can see how you're suffering; I can see how _unhappy_ you are. I don't want to see you like that, not only because I've imprinted on you, but because you're my best friend. You can still hold my world Bella, just as a best friend, a sister." I smiled at that; being Jacob's little sister—this was going to be fun.

"But that would mean I get to annoy you anytime I want. So which is it?" He pushed, grinning.

"Thanks Jake." I wrapped my arms around him, "You can piss me off anytime you want."

"Okay," He stood, bringing me up with him, then setting me on my feet. "Let's go find your bloodsucker."

"You…you're going to help me find him?" It was so abrupt; his hate for Edward seemed to have vanished completely.

"Hey don't judge me, I'm not _that_ easy going Bella. I just want you to be happy, and if that means you locking lips with his fangs, fine by me." He teased. I faked a glare at him, then took his hand in mine as I beamed, contented.

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**they keep me going :D**

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	6. I love you

**Chapter 6; Im such a weak person. I just have to get them to see each other xD**

**Thanks you guys for faving me and stuff; i really appreciate it.**

**Pleaseee review! Hope you like the chapter...its kinda cheesy; but thats okay for Edward/Bella...right? :D**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all books, Characters and blahdablah. Im just a little fan :P**

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**Chapter 6**

**(EPOV)**

I darted into the shade of the trees, pushing myself as far as I could go. I heard the crunching of twigs beneath me as I kicked them out of my way, heading towards the one place where I could really be alone—my meadow. It pained me that Bella would no longer be able to enjoy it with me; to lie on the grass as my skin threw rainbows in the sun, to hear her heart flutter under my gentlest touch, to hold her in the comfortable silence for what seemed like forever.

I shook away the excruciating memories as I saw a gleam of light at the end of the trail ahead, then forced myself forward until I was out of the darkness. The sun was scorching overhead by now; I heard the noise beneath my feet subside as I stepped into the grass.

I lay down; on the same spot my Bella had first seen me in the sun, letting my eyelids fall. For once, I didn't feel the relief that I was expecting, the warmness that I wanted so bad. Every inch of this pasture was marked with sweet memories of my Bella—how she would climb onto my back without fearing me, how she hid her face behind my shoulder as I ran her into the meadow; _our _meadow. I missed her so much.

I shouldn't have had run away from her, but I _hurt_ her— I yanked my back off the ground, sitting up to grab a tree branch that was just inches away—the one thing that mattered the most to me, the only reason life was worth living…I had hurt my Bella. Involuntary snarls exploded from my chest as I hurled the branch towards the forests, frustrated.

I started to sob, dry, tearless sobs, letting my face fall into my hands; the pain was intolerable, even for a monster like me. What have I done? The love of my life was gone, and when it had come back to me, I scared it away once more. I didn't know how to protect Bella, I couldn't. I couldn't have better control over my instincts; I couldn't fight the fact that I was an imbecile, a monster.

As I trembled along with the sobs that erupted relentlessly, I heard the soft footsteps in the distance—what in the world was a werewolf doing here? Yet I couldn't care less; he could kill me now; that would be helpful, I no longer saw a point in eternity. But there was someone else with him, a scent I knew, a heartbeat I had promised I would pick up from miles away.

I didn't flinch, I didn't want to move, to turn around and realize that the only thing behind me was the large empty space. I must've been insane, but nothing really was sane right now. Then I felt her arms slide around me as my angel hid her face in my neck, crying. Feeling her warm skin against mine was like fire and ice, it lit up every bit of my sky; not only was the meteor back, it brought along the sun with it. I could finally see again, the darkness was gone.

I opened my eyes as my hands freed my face, trying to convince myself that I hadn't gone completely crazy. She was here, my Bella, had she come back to me?

**(BPOV)**

He reached around to pull me off of his back, cradling me onto his laps instead.

"I'm sorry…Bella I'm so sorry." He repeated again and again, his face twisted with anguish. Why was he apologizing?

I sobbed harder, it felt so stupid, but Edward was here with me again, in our meadow. His eyes were flooded with sadness; I didn't want to see him like that, it was so wrong; I buried my face into his stone chest. I felt his hold tighten around me, his fingers rubbed soothing circles into my back, trying to calm me down. It worked, a little bit.

When I finally found air in my lungs again, I looked up at him, meeting his intermittent gaze.

"Edward…I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…" I didn't know how to go on without hurting him more, but I did anyway.

"I shouldn't have left you. It was stupid of me, and I-". He placed his finger on my lips, hushing me.

"Bella, Bella, there is nothing to apologize for, I had after all given you a choice…and you just decided to do what you wanted…to go with who you wanted…" He was whispering now; I could hear the distress in his voice, I knew him better than to let his empty expressions lie to me.

"Edward, he isn't the one I want. Please, don't do that to yourself. It was a stupid mistake, I-I didn't know what I was doing, that's why I came looking for you." I hurriedly mumbled before he could continue to deject himself. "I know who I can't live without, the week without you…" Tears streamed down my face as I choked against my words—the pain I'd felt when I lost Edward was nothing compared to this, seeing my Edward hurt.

"Are you sure? Bella, you can't just come back for me, if that do-". He sighed. "If Jacob is who you want to live your life with, you can't let my happiness stop you from that. I want what's best for you Bella, please."

"Then don't run away from me like that ever again." I murmured, mostly to myself, as I glanced up at him. His face was glowing in the sunlight, his gorgeous golden brown eyes didn't help with the breathing, but as I saw them light up to my words, I sighed, relieved.

"I love you." He whispered in my ear, and before I could answer him, brought his lips to mine.

I enveloped my arms around his neck, pulling myself up against him as he leaned towards me—it was as if I could feel my heart beat inside me again, like I could finally breathe after a week underwater. I was so sure now, who I wanted, what I wanted;_ a_s much as Jacob meant to me,_ he _was my angel, my Edward—nobody could replace the space in my heart I had left for him, only him.

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**Cheesy eh? You had been warned :P**

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**Godbless.**

**x**


	7. Yes, it is

**Okay a rather fluffy chapter ahead xD hope you guys like it! :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or any of the characters. **

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**Chapter 7**

**(BPOV)**

"Edward, I'm sorry, please Edward…Don't leave me. Please?" I could feel the lump in my throat as I choked the words out unconsciously—who was I talking to? I rolled over recklessly in the darkness, falling over; but before my body could hit the floor, stone cold arms caught me. My eyes fluttered open while the tears I could no longer hold back blurred my vision—even when I was asleep, I couldn't get the image of Edward's suffering out of my head; there he sat in the middle of our meadow, sobbing tearlessly to himself as his body shook in pain.

It had only been hours since that excruciating moment, and even though Edward had come back to me, I could still feel the distance that lay in between us. It hurt to think that we might not be the same again, to think that he was unsure of my love for him.

My angel scooped me up, kissing the tears off my face as he hushed me with his velvet voice. "I'm not leaving you Bella, ever." His face was anxious with grief, the gold in his eyes were still buried with the concern he had withheld since we left the meadow.

I felt so stupid, but I couldn't help myself. I started to sob again, hiding my face in his chest instead; he didn't need to see me like that. Edward all but held me silently, his hand rubbed soothingly against my back, trying to calm me down. Why did I have to overreact like that all the time?

I could see his agonized frown from the dim light of my table lamp; my angel was upset again, because I was too much of a baby to control myself. I pulled myself away from him, off the bed, stumbling my way to the bathroom. Before I was out the door, his arms restrained me, pulling me backwards by the waist. "I-I need a human moment." I murmured hurriedly, fighting back the wails that threatened to erupt any minute now. I felt his grip let go, then slipped out the door.

I glanced at the wall clock that hung in the hallway—three in the morning? Nice timing Bella. I sighed, then closed the bathroom door behind me. I was such a mess; my hair was tangled up like a haystack, my eyes were literally swollen with red; how on Earth did Edward fall in love with me?

I splashed my face with water, hoping that it would help bring my coherence back to me. Then I looked up into the mirror once more; this was a haystack even Edward would not like. I reached out to grab a comb that lay on the shelf, tugging it through my hair as my scalp screamed in protest. When I decided that I was calm enough to pass as happy, I flicked the lights off, stepping out into the corridor.

My Greek god sat motionlessly on my bed, facing the window. He seemed for once, oblivious to my presence; although I knew that was not possible, this was the first time he had ignored my entrance, the first time I wasn't greeted by his cold fingers pulling me towards him. I wasn't going to let this go on, it was killing me.

I made my way around the bed, hesitantly standing in front of him. I didn't know how to start, so I just stood there, head down like an idiot, waiting for him to break the silence. After the few painful minutes, he finally looked up at me—there was something in his eyes that I couldn't quite make out…it wasn't the sadness I had seen all day, it was as if he was deep in thought.

My heart started to beat at its normal pace again as I saw him stand up, lifting his gaze to face me. His fingers reached for my face, it was as though he was thinking twice, as though I would make a run for it if his actions were too much for me. I leaned into his hand, letting him know I wasn't going anywhere.

"Bella…" he started, then stopped. "I…I need to know if-" This was the first time I had seen Edward like that; he had never been so hesitant before. His confidence seemed to be washed away.

"If you would ever leave me again-I'm not forcing you to stay with me love, but-" He swallowed. "I need to know."

The pain inflicted on him by the question was now on his face, and I felt it in my heart too. He was being insecure; my Edward. "Edward, I'm sorry. Really, I love you, only you. Please Edward, you have to trust me on this." My voice shook as I rushed through the words, I needed to tell him, I wanted him to be at ease. The tears were overflowing again, my cheeks damp with streaks of saltwater.

Then I felt his arms around me, my body melted into his as I took in deep lungfulls of his sweet scent. For once it was as if Edward wasn't afraid of breaking me, he pulled me tighter against his chest, holding me prisoner there. We stood like that for what seemed like forever, looking out into the dark night through the window, exchanging our occasional kisses. The silence wasn't unbearable, it was comfortable. I could feel the air around us settle, bringing both of us the happiness we haven't had for days.

It was him who first spoke, and I was relieved to hear the playful tone in my angel's velvet chime. "So…I need a new car. What do you suppose we get, Mrs. Cullen?"

My heart started to throb unsteadily as I plummeted into hyperventilation. This was the first time he'd used that on me, Mrs. Cullen. I wasn't pleased with the matrimony idea of his, but being addressed as Edward's wife sent shivers of pleasure down my spine. He, however, misread my silence.

"The wedding, is still on, right?" He pushed me away at arm's length, bending down to face me. I nodded uselessly, utterly stoked. The wedding was so close now; I was going to be married in less than a month. Edward grinned at my reaction, then started to inch his face towards mine.

"No that doesn't count…" he whispered, his lips were now at my neck. "Bella, is the wedding still on?" His nose tracing my jaw line—he was such a cheater.

"Is it?" His lips twitched into my favourite crooked smile, his golden orbs burned into mine. What was he trying to do to me? The butterflies in my stomachs seemed to have fluttered up my throat, choking me.

"Bella?" I could feel his breath caress my face; he started to plant kisses down my cheek, down to my neck.

"Y-Yes it is." I finally answered, catching my breath. He pulled away from my neck, holding my face in his hand as he gently brought his lips to mine. "Thank you." His breath taking smile reappeared. I hugged myself closer to him, satisfied; I knew I was never going to get used to this, but I had the rest of eternity to try.

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**Cheesy chapter, eh? **

**Hope you like (: Wedding...I might take some time with that one.**

**Thanks for reading! :D Emmett-like hug.**


	8. Fever

**Heyy (: sorry. Summer ended, so i had school to attend to and yeah. Writer's block D:**

**I hope you like this chapter though, its more random, less emotional maybe...Bella gets sick and it goes on (:**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any twilight books nor characters. But yes i love them (: very very much.**

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**Chapter 8**

**(BPOV)**

I groaned as I awoke, it was as if I hadn't slept at all—I was so worn out. My eyelids unwillingly fluttered open as I found my head perched up against Edward's chest; so this was why my pillow felt so…cold. My head ached, but what I really cared about at the moment was the way Edward hugged me towards himself, tighter than ever. My Greek god had his head upon the bed board, his legs, covered in denim jeans, were stretched out beside me. I tried to get up, to turn around to face him, only to be restrained in his steel grasp.

"Edward?" I mumbled, incoherent. I felt so stiff, had I moved at all? "What time is it?"

This time he let me go, but gently pushed me back down onto the bed as he slid off, kneeling down on the floor to face me. I curled up against the edge of my bed, trying to get closer while I dragged my blanket along—why was it so cold in here?

He frowned at me, his face anxious, "It's just past eight…you have a fever, love. Your skin's burning."

The pain in my head had now gotten worse; my luck on the other hand was not getting any better. I moaned in complain as I turned away from him, burying my face into a pillow. Alice was going to kill me.

I had promised my favorite sister to let her take me out today. Being Alice, she was already done with things like the decorations and my wedding dress, but today I had to tag along to pick out the wedding cake, due to my unfortunate ability to eat. I didn't mind having to help out, but Alice was never able to keep to her words—our days out were always ended with shopping, shopping, and more shopping. "What's mine is yours", Edward had told me before, but I just didn't feel comfortable flaunting the Cullen's never ending supply of money like they did.

"Isabella Swan!" Alice growled, appearing out of nowhere. I looked up—the window, right; I had to remember to close that next time, once Edward got here, of course.

Then Edward was on the bed, cradling me into his laps as he snarled at her. "She's not going anywhere Alice." I wordlessly leaned into his stone cold chest; this was my chance to escape a dreadful day of shopping, I had to take it.

"Edward Cullen, do you know how much we haven't done? I have one week. One week! I have to get your wedding cake as soon as possible. Do you _not_ want a wedding?" She hissed at him, her eyes piercing with rage.

"Alice…Bella's not well. She can't go anywhere like that. Look at her!" He was pleading with her this time, his voice pained. I pulled myself closer to him.

"She doesn't _have _to be well Edward, all I need is a couple of hours. She can sit when we get there, all she has to do is eat and pick out the flavors."

"Alice, I'm marrying Bella, not the cake. Getting my bride any sicker than she already is won't help with the wedding either." My heart thumped at his choice of words as I saw her eyes narrow. She glared at Edward.

"No Alice, please. Not today." He answered one of her unspoken thoughts. Then she was out the window, muttering to herself.

I felt my grip on his shoulder tighten as the headache returned. I groaned to myself—this day couldn't have started off any worse.

"I'm sorry." My angel breathed against my cheek while he silently rocked us back and forth.

I shook my head against his chest; he wasn't going to blame this on himself. "S'not your fault. Just a headache."

"Go to sleep Bella, you need more rest." His honey brown eyes bored into mine, taking my breath away like it always had. I brought myself up against him, crushing my lips to his as I let my irrational side take over; he willingly complied, but I could feel him start to draw his cautious lines when my fingers knotted in his hair. The bed shook lightly as Edward chuckled, pulling away.

"So Mrs. Cullen isn't sleepy…" He teased as I sighed, breathing in the sweet scent he had always possessed. "What would she like to do then?"

I didn't answer him, I didn't want to. I was wrapped in his arms, the two of us alone in the house, entwined in our moment of silence; what more could I want? I felt his grip loosen all of a sudden, his eyes worried while he looked down at me.

"Bella you're getting warmer by the minute…maybe you should take a cold shower..." His angel's face was twisted in frustration now.

"No. I want to watch a movie." I hesitated. I didn't want to be separated from him for too long, and Edward had always given me what I wanted. "Romeo and Juliet", I glanced at him, letting his face catch my gaze.

He smiled his crooked smile, then kissed the top of my nose, laughing soundlessly. "Anything you say."

After I had my human moment—I rushed into the bathroom, brushing my teeth and taming my wild, tangled hair—Edward scooped me up into his arms as he ran me down the stairs, setting me down onto the couch. He draped a blanket over me; typical Edward, the movie was already set up. He hit the play button, then sat down beside me, much too far away for my liking.

The movie had only been playing for five minutes, but it felt like a year as I pulled my charade of interest in it. I had watched it countless times and never really minded, but with Edward sitting beside me like that, it was a whole other story. My eyes trailed towards his muscular chests, half hidden under his black t-shirt—the top few buttons were left unbuttoned. What was he trying to do to me? I felt a smile play along his lips as he fought it back, he was so cruel at times.

I huffed, a sigh of desperation, pulling the blanket off me—fine, I'd go back to sleep; I had to get away from him before I lost control of myself again. I stumbled my way towards the stairs, but before I could make another step forward, he caught me from behind. His hands slid around my waist, his angel's face hidden in the crook of my neck.

I closed my eyes, admitting defeat. But how could he do this to me? Hold me against him, then leave me to myself whenever he wanted? I wasn't letting him off the hook that easily.

I pried his fingers open, pulling them away; his lips froze against my shoulder. Then I continued my way to my bedroom, slower this time. I knew I really was fighting back myself—walking away from Edward? This was the hardest thing I had to do since I've left him for Jacob…

I refused to let myself recall the melancholic memories, but it was too late. There he was, my Edward, my angel, in the middle of the meadow, sobbing. I sighed as I felt the stabbing in my heart; my guilt wasn't fading anytime soon.

I spun around to face my angel before I could start breaking down—he didn't deserve this, especially after what I'd done to him, what I'd made him go through. "I'm sorry Edward." I mumbled, I couldn't find my voice, but I knew he heard me.

He took a step forward, "Me too." He whispered, but before he could speak any further, I threw my arms around him, bringing him into another one of my licentious kisses.

I could feel the streaks of tears on my cheeks while our lips moved in unison, then Edward's silent gasp at the realization of me, his silly fiancée, crying. His angel's face confused, Edward stared at me for an immeasurable minute, then pressed his lips to mine again.

This time, it was nothing like before; this time, he wasn't being careful; this time, my Edward gave himself over to the passion that overwhelmed the both of us so gratifyingly. I could tell from the way he looked into my eyes, into my soul, that he really did love me, and for once, I was excited for the wedding ahead of us—I wanted to be his, and only his, for forever.

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**I think i liked the ending the most xD hahaha. **

**Review (: x and thanks for reading!**


	9. I know

**Heyy (: sorry i havent been updating recently!**

**i was overseas taking a placement test.. yes im moving D: hope you like this chapter tho!**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer's (:**

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**Chapter 9 – I know**

**(EPOV)**

It pained me to see Bella in such discomfort, wincing at the occasional headaches as she leaned against the bed board weakly, refusing to go to sleep. Ah, Bella, why did she have to be so stubborn? Yet I loved her exactly the way she was, stubborn, clumsy, beautiful Bella. It had been a day since she'd gotten the fever, and it subsided by the slightest bit, but she still, was not well enough for my liking.

**(BPOV)**

Charlie was home early, but he wasn't much of a problem. He had refused to let me cook dinner, ordering pizza instead while Edward "paid me a visit" with soup and porridge. I slurped them all up unthinkingly, then stumbled my way up the stairs, wanting to return to my room, into Edward's stone arms. There was no way Charlie would check on me tonight, I didn't have an ounce of adrenaline left in me to do anything other than sleep, and he could see that too.

I hurriedly brushed my teeth, changing into one of the many ragged t-shirts I had, then pulled on a pair of shorts—Edward was convinced that letting my body shiver in cold would help with the fever, sweatpants weren't going to help put a halt to our arguments.

My Greek god was slumped across my bed casually, meeting my gaze as I stepped into the room. He managed to look gorgeous as usual, even under the dimmed light of my table lamp. I saw his figure blur while he propped himself up, his arms open; it was another one of his irresistible invitations. I dragged a blanket along with me before I climbed into his embrace—he felt colder than ever.

"Bella, you know that won't help. You're burning up. Take a cold shower, please love? It'll help cool you down." His golden eyes were smoldering, his voice a soft velvet. Cheater. Cheater. Cheater. I looked away, hiding my face against his shoulder.

I had promised him earlier on, but caved the minute I stepped into the shower accompanied by an involuntary shiver. So instead I drenched myself with hot water, unknotting my tight muscles and erasing all signs of cold in my body at the same time, only to be met by Edward's anxious glower when I got back to my room.

"Please, Bella? I don't like seeing you ill." He paused for a moment, then the thick disapproval in his voice was replaced with worry. "You're all that I have, grasp that."

I felt my heart melt inside of me; I all but shook my head, fighting back the overwhelming urge to take a glance at his glorious face.

I heard him sigh, then a…chuckle? His cold fingers slowly dragged my gaze towards his; his eyes were so light now, the frustration gone. Instead, they were playful, gentle, but teasing.

"Hmm..I wonder-"

He inched closer, abruptly pushing me onto the bed while he hovered over me; his snow cold breath hugged my face. I saw from the corner of my eye, the blanket hurled onto the carpet of my bedroom floor. Ignoring my obvious hyperventilation, Edward started to trail kisses down my cheek; the cold from his body left shivers running down my spine. I was cold, freezing, and I knew he was simply doing this to help with the fever, but I couldn't care less. This was cold I'd rather feel than to be basking in the warmth of the sun.

His fingers drew circles on my arm while he pulled his lips away from my jaw, his eyes spilling with the pool of honey, boring into mine. I reached up to fold my arms around my angel's neck, pulling him closer.

Kissing Edward was never going to be easy, ever. The moment I felt his lips on mine, I lost utter control of myself. My head was spinning as the sweetness of his breath was getting more dominant by the second, my fingers shifted from the back of his neck into his bronze, tousled hair.

Then he pulled away, silently laughing to himself. Did he think this was_ funny_? My eyes narrowed, I pouted. I felt like a complete idiot, but that didn't really matter. I just kissed Edward Cullen—that never seized to marvel me, and to make things more unbelievable than they already were, I was going to be married to this beautiful_ god_ in days. Days.

I was then captured in his muscular embrace while he rolled us onto our sides. I was sure I looked very stupid, staring at him like that in wonderment, but his scorching brown eyes didn't let mine go. He was…dazzling.

His quiet velvet chuckle shook the bed; his teeth gleamed while he flashed my favorite crooked smile.

I frowned, "Edward Cullen, you are such a cheater."

His eyes grew softer than ever, contradicting the tease in his voice. "But you still love me, don't you, Mrs. Cullen?"

"I'm such an idiot." I looked away, embarrassed.

"I already knew that, you stupid lamb." His returning smile was blinding.

"Shut up, you sick masochistic lion." That triggered his laugh, again; his lighthearted, untroubled, breathtaking laugh.

Then it turned into a whisper in my ear, "I love you."

"I know." I murmured back; I didn't have to tell him I loved him too, he'd probably hear that when I was sleep talking anyway.

My angel grinned against my skin as I slowly dozed off in his arms.

My angel, my vampire, my Edward.

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**Reviews very very welcome :D:D**

**x**


	10. Tomorrow

**Kay so I'm sorry I'm dragging this on for so long, but thank you so much for bothering to fave me and review, haha those things make me ecstatic :P**

**And by the way, when I wrote "tomorrow", I meant like the next break of dawn kind of thing, not the technical after-12am-tomorrow xD**

**Hope you like! (:**

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**Chapter 10**

**(BPOV)**

I rolled over, frustrated. The digital clock screamed one in the morning at me, the glaring red numbers advancing by the minute. I had been lying in bed for what seemed like eternity now, yet I couldn't go to sleep, and the wedding was in merely hours. I didn't know how I did it, but my body started to hyperventilate at its own will, my lungs giving way at their own accord.

It was all Alice's fault, really. My annoying vampire sister had all of a sudden become traditional, insisting Edward and I be separated until I finally walk down the aisle—if I don't slip and fall, that is. It was so irrational, the last I had seen of my angel was when he sent me home, but it already felt like I was dying from the inside out, my own personal hell. I had grown so accustomed to his stone cold body beside mine, his glorious voice as he hummed my favorite song in the world, one night without Edward seemed impossible.

I groaned, cutting off the oxygen that was really all that kept me alive as I hid my face in my pillow. I was going insane.

Before I could fall any further into the welcoming arms of desperation, I heard a soft brush come from my window. My breath caught—the window was now wide open, but nobody was there; nobody should have been there. It couldn't have been any of the Cullens, could it? Alice would kill anyone who'd disturb my sleep; I apparently "needed it for tomorrow". I started to panic; my heart went erratic, not at all helping with my attempt to calm down.

Then I heard a silent chuckle come from behind me, the laugh I knew. I heaved a sigh of relief, turned around, narrowing my eyes to glower at him.

I couldn't. All my willpower seemed to have crumbled to the ground as I lay my eyes on him. Edward was sitting on my bed, beside me; his golden eyes were gleaming in the midnight light, gentle. His lips twitched on both ends as he met my eyes. I caught my breath again, but this time the reason being the butterflies in my stomach. How was he doing this?

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you." He grinned at his own remark; I hated how he'd always found my reactions so incredibly hilarious. But if that meant I got to hear his velvet laughter more often, I would have to be insane to have minded any longer.

My silent contemplation was interrupted when he suddenly brought me into his marble embrace, cradling me on his laps. I gawked at him in continuous silence; his vampire strength never seized to amaze me. To do him justice, _everything_ about him amazed me.

"Bella, Bella, you know I hate that." His face was pained as he dragged me out of my train of thoughts. "Tell me what you're thinking, please?"

"Nothing. You're just…dazzling me." I was choking the words out as I tried to return to my coherent state. Edward's crooked smile returned to his breathtaking features.

"I can't help it." He teased, quoting me from the first time we'd sat together at lunch, I could still remember. It all seemed so silly now, how nervous I was with approaching Edward with my questions.

My flashback was cut off when Edward started to lean into me, his cool breath yet again mesmerizing me into a state of helplessness. Then I remembered Alice; Nice timing, Bella.

"A-Aren't you supposed to stay home? Alice is going to kill us." I whispered when his lips softly grazed against mine. His responding chuckle was so expected as he gently pulled away, amused.

"Don't worry about her. I made a deal with Emmett." A devious smile spread across his face as he mentioned his bear of a brother. "He's not going to let her get in the way tonight."

"But she's going to tear your head off tomorrow…maybe even mine." I bit my lip as I pictured Alice, frantic over the fact that her bride and groom had broken the rules.

"I'll buy her a new car, Alice wouldn't mind, there's absolutely nothing to worry about, love." Edward's voice was soothing as his ice cold fingers stroked my cheek. "You're tired, go to sleep."

My angel set me down on the bed as he wrapped me in my blanket—typical Edward—then lay down beside me. I curled into him, closing the distance between us while his arms encircled me.

"I love you." He whispered in my ear, then started to hum the song I knew so well, my lullaby.

I stretched up to plant a kiss in the arch of his snow cold neck, then gave into the exhaustion that was now intolerably overwhelming. Tomorrow was so close, yet so far away. Tomorrow, I'd be married to him, I'd be his forever, and him, mine.

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**Yes yes that's..that :P**

**Thanks for bothering to read! Reviewwwwwww (:**

**x**


	11. Complete

**Sorry i havent been updating =X I was having a huge block, but I hope you like this chapter. My review rate is getting so sad I was getting a little lazy from the lack of anything pushing me to write quicker xDD I think its the longest I have wrote so far, and its in EPOV cause Edward's cool like that. Haha :D Thanks to those who bothered to try this out..Next chapter would probably be the last, an Epilogue perhaps? Enjoy~**

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**(EPOV)**

As I felt Bella's heart rate slow, her chest rising then falling at a comfortable rate, I slid away from my angel, setting her down onto the bed beside me. I'd give anything in the world to hold her forever, never having to put her down, but I was afraid she'd get a cold and that was not what she needed to get on Alice's good side after tonight.

I slid down towards the carpeted floor, kneeling with my face inches away from her—she was so beautiful it hurt. Her pale, delicate features were ravishing under the dim light of her tableside lamp as a small smile played along her lips. I tried to tame down the lust that was growing in me, refraining myself from reaching out to touch her. I had to wait; in a few hours Bella would be mine. Patience is virtue, I chanted in my head.

Yet there was a feeling much more overpowering surging in me, one I had not experienced even after a hundred years of existing; it was so much stronger than my lust for her blood or my want for her body. Each time my Bella hummed in satisfaction, deep in sleep, it sent an immediate shock towards my unbeating heart. Even with her honey brown orbs hidden beneath her eyelids, I could see through it all, I could see her soul. She was exquisite, dazzling, as she would put it. I felt a wave of sheer pride engulf me while I realized that she was mine, every single bit of her.

I stretched my hand out towards her cheek to brush away a lose strand of hair, only to feel her lean into my palm. I had felt so conflicted for the past hundred years, struggling to keep the monster in me away, but never succeeding altogether. But when I was in this moment with Bella, the monster seemed to have locked itself away. I felt so calm, there was finally peace within me; I was complete.

I jumped as I felt the buzzer of my phone go off—Alice.

"Edward Cullen, I want you back here right now! You talked me out of forcing a bachelor party on you, and now _this_? You're pushing your luck way too far mister! She's asleep and you can ogle as much as you want tomorrow. Now get your vampire butt back here or I swear to God I will tear your-" Her rant came to an end as I heard Emmett yell. I chuckled to myself; maybe Emmett deserved a new jeep. But my pesky sister did have a point—I would have to leave in the morning before Bella woke up anyway; there really was no point of staying, except building up the sexual frustration that was getting more dominant in me.

I leaned up to gently graze my lips over the top of her head, careful not to stir her awake. "I love you, Isabella Marie Cullen."

--

I stood in the far end of the hall beside my brothers, more nervous than I had expected. Emmett placed a hand on my shoulder as he grinned at me, _"You'll be fine Edward, calm down. She's going to look more beautiful than ever, old man will read his stuff, you lock lips with your bride, and I'll have my little sister in law. Stop over thinking it!"_ His words rang in my mind, and for once, Emmett was right. I was over thinking it. Before I could contemplate Emmett's sudden boost of sanity, the crowd started to rise to their feet, gasping aloud as their heads turned towards the church doors.

And I thought she looked beautiful last night. She looked gorgeous, astonishingly so. My angel chewed on her lip nervously while Charlie lead her down the aisle at an excruciating pace, the music floating in the surrounding air. I didn't notice anything else; I couldn't; my eyes bored into her breathtaking ones and she returned my gaze, not worrying about falling from the cursed heels Alice had put on her, or tripping over the edge of her elegant gown, like she said she would. It was us, and only us.

Our silent exchange came to a halt only when Charlie wordlessly slid her hand onto my arm, giving me a look that said so much more. I saw grief that burned in his eyes, but it was glazed over with a slight hint of joy for his daughter. She would always be his baby girl.

Bella's hand gripped mine as we returned to our former state, lost in each other's eyes. I'd always assumed the minister's speech was most important, where man and wife would agree to take care of the other in sickness or in health. Yet I did not seem to hear him as the words came pouring out in a blur; my mind was travelling fullspeed into the future—I saw it all, without Alice's help this time. Bella and I would live forever, and I would love her as I had promised to, for the rest of eternity.

I heard Bella's heartbeat flutter erratically, her musical voice pulling me back to the present.

"I do."

I saw her eyes fill with tears that were soon to brim over as her grasp on my hand tightened. I wondered if she'd ever know how much I truly loved her.

"I do." I vowed. For once, I felt as though I had a soul in me. It was soaring, glowing with honor.

I impatiently waited for the words to be spoken, then leaned in to kiss away a tear that had slid down her cheek. Her arms wrapped around my neck as I planted my lips onto hers, letting her feel all my love I had for her. It felt as staggering as it normally was, but there was something different that I couldn't quite decipher. Perhaps it was the fact that I knew she was finally mine. The kiss lasted longer than it was intended to, passion growing with every breath Bella took. I wouldn't have pulled away, like I normally did, if I hadn't remembered we were still in public.

"I love you, Edward." She whispered as she peeked up at me, confidence I had never heard in the past coloring her voice.

"As I you."

And I meant every word—I loved her, and I would love her for the rest of our existence. Unconditionally and irrevocably.

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**Was it okay? Not enough cheesyness? Or too much? xD**

**Let me know (: Thanks for reading! x**


	12. Darkness

**Hey (: Sorry this took so long, but i had been so busy with the schooling apps and stuff. Thank you so much to those who reviewed, sorry I didnt get to reply all of you. By the time i saw your reviews i was starting to write this chapter so i thought i would just reply you guys here. Im glad you guys like the story, and thank youu for bothering to read this. Also, i know i said this chapter would be an epilogue, but it isnt, cus i decided to write more on the change. haha i hope you guys dont mind..? hope i did okay.. :D**

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(BPOV)**

Edward stared at me, pain evident in his gold eyes. I felt so guilty, guilty that I caused the discomfort and torment that he was writhing in, but I knew this was what I wanted, to be with Edward for the rest of my life. To Edward, I was being damned for eternity; to me, I was given a whole other life. A life in which I could no longer feel so breakable, one in which Edward and I could finally match up, I hope, one in which I could spend forever with him.

"Bella, maybe we could..." He paused, searching for words.

I sat up from my lying position on Edward's bed, narrowing my eyes at him. Edward had been kneeling by my side for an hour now, hesitating as he doubted his self control. Tonight was when he would change me himself, like he promised, but it was taking him an excruciatingly long time. The rest of his family were waiting outside, wanting to give us some alone time before my heart gave its final thump. I contemplated that for a moment, wondering what it would be like after my change, but the fear I'd expected seemed non-existent. It was as though I had been preparing for this all my life, as though I was meant to be a vampire.

"Edward Cullen, you are not backing out." I glared; we had talked about this so many times. I was so sure what I wanted, what I needed—it was all him. My humanity was not worth half of a lifetime with Edward, I knew that, why couldn't he see it too?

"I'm not backing out, Bella, I just don't know if I can do this.." Edward sighed, his fingers on his temple while his eyelids fluttered shut. He even looked beautiful troubled. I was too busy ogling to stop his negative speech, letting the masochist in him ramble on; I knew Edward could control himself, I trusted him that much. He was just being pessimistic, as always. I smiled at that, wondering if he would be as paranoid as he was when I was one of them. "I am a monster Bella, even if you don't believe that,_ I do_, and I don't want to lose you to what you yearn to become. What if I don't stop myself this time, love? What if I have a taste of your blood and lose control? What if-"

"Edward, I trust you. I always do, and that's not going to change. Besides, Carlisle is here, so is the rest of the family, they'll help us through this." I stroked his cheek with the back of my hand, attempting to calm him down.

His eyes finally met mine; the distress and worry wasn't gone, but the new found assurance that I saw told me his promise wouldn't be broken.

"Carlisle?" Edward's voice was no louder than a whisper.

Alice barged through the door, running over to throw her arms around me while she squealed excitedly. I loved how optimistic she was; it almost made up for Edward's negativity at times.

"Alice. You'll kill her before I do." Edward hissed bitterly at his hysterically keyed up sister, who replied with nothing but a slap on his arm. "Edward Cullen, I have no idea how she is going to_ live _with all your cynicism, but give the girl a break!" I laughed at their little exchange, enjoying the fact that Alice had left Edward speechless. It was true and he knew it; he was going to do fine.

--

"Bella, the anesthetic is going to wear off after the first couple of hours, and injecting anymore into your system after that would do no help...when our venom gets into your bloodstream, your entire body would be shutting down. Although all of us have gone through it, we don't remember the entire process…but it is going to be painful." Carlisle was briefing me about the change, and I wasn't exactly sure if I wanted to hear what he had to say, but I didn't want to come off as afraid for Edward's sanity.

I nodded, glancing at Edward who was now playing with my fingers as he sat expressionless on the bed. I squeezed his hand, then fell back onto the pillows.

"I'm ready." I made sure my voice was even; the slightest hint of fear would send Edward berserk with concern.

I fixed my eyes on the ceiling, browsing through the carefully carved out patterns as I felt Edward shift onto the floor. The rest of the Cullens were now gone, except Alice who insisted to stay, and Carlisle, of course.

"You are my life, Isabella Cullen." He held my gaze, then sighed, pressing his velvet lips to my forehead.

As I felt his snow cold lips touch my throat, I closed my eyes, more ready than ever. "I love you, Edward." Then I let myself fall into the inviting arms of darkness.

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**I know this is short, but this chapter was just about her change so yeahh. Next chapter coming up...asap? **

**Hope you liked what i've done tho, xx  
**


	13. Forever

**Hi hi hi sorry this took long...I was busy with the other story =X Anyway, thank you so so so much to those who'd read/reviewed/faved, im so sorry if i didnt reply you. My inbox is spammed with facebook messages and everything's messy so yeahh.**

**Here you go, the end D: I hope you guys like it, tho.**

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(EPOV)

"Bella? Bella? Love?" I pulled my angel's tiny frame closer to me, trying to get a response from her. She looked so pale, her skin a lighter shade from before. The scars from James' attack, as well as those from her clumsy mishaps, had disappeared. It had been three days, three distressingly tormenting days, and Bella was supposed to be awake by now. Carlisle was chanting consolations in his mind, Alice stubbornly displaying images of Bella awaking safely in my arms. Their attempt to calm me down, however, did not work. I was going berserk thinking of the possibilities, of the consequences I had to face if the change failed. I was disgusted with myself, sick to the core; I could not believe I'd agreed to turn Bella into a monster. I should have known better, I should have seen this coming—this was hurting my Bella. Was she ever going to wake up? What if I didn't see her beautiful, breathtaking orbs again? What if I didn't get to catch her, to save her from her klutziness any longer? Would I miss the night-long the arguments with her? What if she didn't come back to me like she'd promised?

I could feel my world crumbling into dust; I stopped breathing. Please, Bella, you have to wake up. She couldn't do this to me, she just couldn't.

Then as if she'd heard my train of thoughts, I felt her fingers twitch in my hand, her eyelids fluttering to reveal the bloodshot eyes of hers. I sighed with relief; with Bella, it seemed I'd never stop worrying, and that was how it would be for the rest of eternity. I'd promised to spend forever with her, and that was what I'd planned to do. As she looked up at me, puzzled, I knew I'd be there with my angel every step of the way, that I'd give her every part of me she needed, that I'd do anything to make her happy for the rest of her life.

"Wh-Where am I?" Bella's voice rang in my ear; her voice was smoother than silk. A wave of panic washed through me as I realized the painful possibility her words brought. Had she forgotten everything? Had she forgotten about her human life? About Charlie, Reenee…about me?

"Carlisle?" I whispered shakily; what had happened to her? Did she lose her memory, entirely?

_Edward, son, calm down. Give her time. She won't remember every single detail, but she will remember most of it, especially you. You are the reason she did this, Edward. Stop worrying._

Just then he walked in warily, eyeing Bella's motionless form. Her continuous gaze on me darted towards him, her breathing erratic. She was shivering; was she…afraid? I had seen newborns countless of times in my existence, I had seen my siblings grow from the newborns they were, and none had acted in this manner. They were simply unable to control their blood thirst, but Bella seemed to be facing a different problem. I couldn't quite decipher what it was.

"Bella, I'm Carlisle." He dragged the words out, pausing to contemplate her silent reply.

The only thing that comforted me was the fact that Bella had remained cradled in my lap since she had awoken. It was as though she noticed it the same time I did, because my angel's eyes started to cloud over with uncertainty. Her eyes locked with mine unfalteringly, and as usual, the curiosity as to what she was thinking swallowed me. Maybe I was scaring her…maybe she was too afraid to move. I loosened my grip around her waist, letting her settle onto the bed as I backed away from it.

"No, Edward!" It was barely a whisper. My angel's fingers gripped mine, pulling me down onto the bed beside her again, and I thought I felt pain. She _could_ beat Emmett if they wrestled; I chuckled at that, the excruciating weight on my chest lifted for a second.

"Edward?" Her voice sang to me, even more than it did before. She was so beautiful; exquisite, outrageously ravishing, and graceful, despite her clumsy nature at times. I knew a part of her drew me to her the moment we'd met, and I'd thought it was simply her blood. But now I knew different, that it wasn't only her blood, or her body, it was every part of her.

"Love?" I tried to keep my voice even, locking away the nagging anxiety that was now coursing through me.

I was suddenly pinned onto the bed with Bella hovering over me, placing kisses on any part of me she could reach. The weight on my chest wasn't merely lifted for a second this time around; it was hurled off me, leaving behind nothing but a relieving aftertaste.

Then her lips crashed hard onto mine, her arms wounding themselves around my neck. I responded unknowingly, pouring out every ounce of unease and angst I had kept to myself for the past three days. She was back, my Bella, and she was never leaving me again.

"Bella…Bella…I'm so sorry." I had to apologize; I had to do _more _than that. I'd taken her soul, I'd turned her into a monster, into _me_. I knew how painful the transformation had to be for her, I'd heard her muffled screams, I'd seen her writhe in convulsion, and here she was with the sweetest grin across her delicate face, unbelievably forgiving. This was why I had fallen in love with her—she was the most gracious creature to walk the surface of this Earth, her nature kind, generous, angelic.

"Edward Cullen," She frowned at my words, her fingers tracing my jaw. "Don't you dare apologize. So you bit me, big deal. It doesn't hurt anymore."

I sighed in defeat; I guess she'd never learn to avoid danger. She _was_ going to be the death of me. But until then, I knew that I'd spend every moment of my existence protecting her, even if she didn't need it.

Her eyes grew softer, along with her voice. "I wanted this, I wanted you, and you've given me everything I could ask for."

"I love you, Edward" She hugged me closer to her, and I willingly obliged.

"You are everything I am, Isabella Marie Cullen. Every ounce of my being, every part of my soul, whether it exists or not. You are my life." My lips twitched at its corners as I saw her eyes light up, "You always have been."

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**So yeahhh ): this is it.**

**I dont know if im entirely happy with how i ended it, im not sure about you guys, tho. Probably not, haha.**

**Thank youuuuuuuu for reading :D and so this is the end of my first fanfic. Muchlove.  
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